


Medicine

by TumblrLoving4Ever



Category: Riverdale - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-15 17:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13035543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TumblrLoving4Ever/pseuds/TumblrLoving4Ever
Summary: "She figures that if she keeps going through hell, it'll eventually lead her back to herself. "A Betty-centric fic in which Betty spirals and pushes everyone away in an attempt to find herself among all the darkness in her mind. The days blur and the time passes by in a daze and she wants to be okay but she's not sure she will ever be.





	1. Where she falls

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this as what I would've liked to see in season 2, so some things may differ from the storyline. Enjoy!

It happens when she kisses Archie Andrews. She'd like to blame it on the high emotions and how terrified and confused she had been feeling, but even then she knows better. She knows better than to run back to comfort. The comfort that once stood outside her home telling her in his own way that he could never love her. 

So when it's all over and when she takes a look at him. A real good look at him. She knows she's no longer the same person. 

They don't talk about it and she ignores the discomfort stirring in her stomach, passing it off as the adrenaline of coming closer to the identity of the black hood. 

When they catch the black hood, it's a mix of emotions and she wonders what's next. She wonders if this will be the only moment that she can feel and if after the rush, her numbness will quake her bones yet again. 

-

Veronica and Archie get back together and it's the worst feeling. Not because of any emotion towards Archie, but because she knows she may have to face Veronica hating her. She knows it's selfish to only think of herself, but it hurts to think that while she's already lost most of who she is, she'll lose one of the people that keep her grounded. 

"Hey B. You coming in? It's really cold out." Veronica's voice slashes through her thoughts like a scolding whip and for a moment she doesn't respond, because she's not sure what she has or will have inside that house anymore. Her friends think that carrying on like normal will make things normal so she agreed for their sake to a movie hang out about a week or two after the reveal of the black hood. 

"B, are you okay?" The raven haired girl reaches out to touch her shoulder in hesitation and Betty's self hatred at the moment reaches its peak. 

"I kissed Archie the night we found the black hood." She says it slowly, as if to twist a knife that's already embedded in her friend and she holds her breath, awaiting Veronica's response. She can see how her mouth turns downwards, eyebrows furrowing and eyes glancing down, almost in disbelief. 

"I know this won't mean much but I'm so sorry, V." She pauses and watches. It's all she ever seems to be doing lately. Waiting and watching. Things passing by in a blur while she stands still in a body she doesn't even know the roadmaps to anymore. There are parts of her that are hidden and dark and she's afraid to even tread along the nearby paths of them. 

"I'm not gonna lie, B. I'm upset and angry, but I think we've all been through a lot lately." Betty's ears start to ring when Veronica breaks the silence and she almost wishes Veronica would slap her because at least she'd feel something. 

"You don't have to do this, V. You can be angry. I know that things have been crazy lately, but I don't think it excuses what I did. Part of me wants to tell you that I was just confused and hurt and scared. But another part just doesn't understand any of it." 

"I think that it's best we have some space and I'm also going to talk to Archie about this too. Lately these days, B, it's like I don't even know you anymore." And that's it. Veronica doesn't wait for Betty to know answer and instead walks back into the house, likely to confront Archie. 

Betty doesn't go back inside the house. She walks home, fingers digging into her palm, most likely staining her jacket with the blood that draws from each piercing of her nails. 

"You're home early. I thought your little group was having something tonight." Her mother tells her when she slips into the house, hoping to go unnoticed. 

"I wasn't feeling well so I came home." Betty shrugs and she turns to go to her room, but her mother pats the seat next to her on the couch. 

"What's going on, Elizabeth? I'm worried about you. That dance, the black hood, everything. You walk around like some zombie." 

"I don't know mom." She can visibly see the way her mother's concerned features fall almost in disappointment at how dismissive she's being. So she gets up and walks out of the living room leaving all that she knows and all that she's scared to find out.

-

The next few days flit across her eyes like she's in some sort of fast forwarded movie and it's not until Kevin comes up to her during school, that her trance breaks.

"You'll never believe it. Southside high shut down so all their students are coming here. Today." She can tell by the way his eyes light up that this is the most interesting gossip he's gotten since the black hood reveal and she wants to play along but there's a larger part of her that is tired of pretending. 

"That's cool, Kev." 

"Cool? I just tell you the most exciting thing to happen to riverdale high that doesn't involve murders and you don't even have anything to say? To contribute? Perhaps about your serpent leader ex boyfriend?" Kevin presses, raising his eyebrows in a way that makes him look comical. 

"You know what Kevin, you told me you're tired of hearing me going on and on about Jughead or Archie or the fact that I can't seem to 'choose' and my so called 'BDSM' sexuality. Then you call me Benedict Betty, so excuse me if I don't have anything to contribute seeing as in any normal circumstance you wouldn't want to hear it. But hey, Veronica and Cheryl must be around here somewhere." It's the most Betty's said to anyone in the past few weeks and she's tired of the endless criticism. She knows she's not perfect, yet everyone around her expects to be. 

She doesn't bother trying interpret Kevin's expression and instead walks down the hall, not getting very far because the crowd stops upon the entrance of the Southside High students. And right at the front of the pack is none other than Jughead Jones. 

And Toni.

She watches carefully the way he takes long strides in confidence, the leather jacket glistening under the dull school lights. She wants to keep admiring him but the more she looks the further it digs into her heart the fact that Toni seems to be the one always by his side. 

"Hey Betty." His voice is unsure and she so desperately wants to reach out to him, but her fingers tighten around the books tucked to her chest instead to ease the temptation. 

"Hi. I'm sorry about Southside High." She says in a polite tone and she briefly winces at how fake it sounds but she won't apologize for that. 

"Yeah, well, there are worst things." He says almost with an underlying message. She doesn't get long to decipher it, because the bell rings and the crowd starts moving and he disappears in the moving bodies much like he disappeared into the Serpents.

The rest of the day trudges on and she half-asses most of her classes to throw off teachers who toss concerned looks her way whenever she so much as glances out the window. It's tiring and the same routine of pretending.

When she starts to round the corner near her locker, she hears the familiar voice of the boy who once told her he loved her. 

"It's just..things are weird right now, Toni. I don't know how to talk to her anymore or be what she needs." He's at a loss. He doesn't know how to be her Jughead anymore and a while ago that seemed to be the worst thing but she knows he needs to find himself and she's willing to let him go for him to do so. Even if it means involving himself in a gang and drugs and danger. 

Because it's his choice, just like their second breakup. 

"Look, Jones. Everyone around here knows you're pining after her and I'm sure she misses you too. You should just swallow your pride." Toni reasons and Betty believes that Toni may grow on her one day. If only they could find common ground that wasn't Jughead Jones related.

"Maybe she won't miss me as much when I tell her that you and I kissed." Betty has to hold her hand over her mouth to keep from gasping and she can feel the pierce in her heart traveling down to her stomach in a nauseous movement. She wants to run but her feet keep her grounded and this is the moment that she feels herself fully break. 

It's too much.

"Okay, maybe keep our pg-13 grope sesh to yourself until the time is right." Toni chuckles and it's probably like music to Jughead's ears but she doesn't stay to find out, instead turning on her heel and running. 

She doesn't know where to and she doesn't seem to care.

-

Blonde. Green eyes. Pink lips. Good girl sweater, good girl attitude, good girl ponytail. That's what Betty sees when she stares at herself in the mirror at her dresser. Every morning she hopes to see more than the perfect girl next door facade and every morning she's disappointed. 

The bags under her eyes are more prominent this morning after spending most of her night imagining the kiss and dare she say grope sesh between Jughead and Toni.

She ignores the lighting up of her phone screen beside her, not even bothering to look at the texts because she doesn't care anymore. She's tired of caring. 

So she pulls her hair out of its tight ponytail, allowing her golden locks to fall and frame her face. She applies her Seduce Scarlet lipstick and brushes her lashes with mascara. She wants to forget and reinvent. She wants to be who everyone least expects. 

Betty stands and pushes through the masses of pastel and pink in her closet, finding a tight red plaid mini skirt. She doesn't want to go overboard like the night at the Whyte Whyrm, so she makes sure to steer clear of leather and lace and pulls on a long sleeve black crop top. 

She's lucky that her mom left early, even with the thigh high boots covering a majority of her legs, she knows her mother would have a fit. 

But maybe that's what she wants. For someone to notice her call for help, even if the only person that notices is her mom.

-

When she enters Riverdale High, she caught between shying away from the obvious male gazes and embracing her newfound confidence. She settles on the latter when she sees Jughead and Toni side by side yet again with her friends accompanying them. It stings because it's her own fault. She ruined her friendship with Veronica over a meaningless kiss and she snapped at Kevin and she avoids Archie because she doesn't want Veronica to think that she's trying something. 

She's alone and for the first time in forever, it's okay. She needs this time to prosper and to find herself again, even if that means letting go of everyone that is a part of her. 

"Betty, what are you wearing?" Archie is the first to speak once she nears them but she simply looks at him, cocking her eyebrow as if to challenge him to question her decisions once more. 

"Clothes." It's blunt and nothing like Betty Cooper and she embraces it. 

"B, what's going on? This isn't you. I know what happened between you and Archie kind of put a strain on things but I'm ready to talk it out now if you're willing." Veronica's eyes are filled with worry and she looks as if she wants to reach out, but Betty can't seem to focus on her anymore because Jughead is glancing back and forth the two.

"What do you mean what happened between her and Archie?" His gaze is focused on Veronica and her eyes widen at the realization she let it slip. Betty doesn't blame her, because she couldn't have known that only s select few of people knew. That select few being her, Archie, and V.

"Betty and I shared a kiss the night we caught the black hood." Archie rubs the back of his neck awkwardly with a grimace and she wonders if he's remembering their kiss or bracing himself for the reactions of their friends.

Silence settles upon the group and it's hard to ignore the way ex boyfriend stares at her with hurt pooling in his eyes. 

"Guess you realized you wanted the perfect fairytale after all? Perfect girl next door and perfect Archie Andrews." His words are filled with venom and the hurt in his eyes have turned cold. She winces at the word 'perfect' and it aches in places she never knew possible, because it wasn't the same as hearing it from Archie. 

No, this was heart shattering. And she only had herself to blame. 

"That's not fair, Jughead. We were broken up. Just like when you and Toni kissed." She know where to stick the knife and she won't lie that it didn't satisfy her to see the way his face falls when he realizes she knows. She even notices how Toni ducks her head, avoiding her gaze. 

"Exactly. So don't you dare accuse me of wanting to be 'perfect' Betty. That's not who I am and I'm done pretending to be something I'm not. That's what you all expect from me but I can't be that. I'm sorry for what I did, Veronica. But right now, I'm asking you..all of you actually..what you wanted from me a few weeks ago. Some space." Her voice cracks but she forces herself to swallow the lump in her throat before walking away from the group of people that made up a large majority of her heart. 

-

The next week is painful. She sits alone in class and at lunch, with the only thing comforting her is the compliments she gets on her new style. She notices the glances her friends toss her way but she's grateful that they respect her wishes enough to not try and talk to her. 

She breaks on a Friday when she sees Toni sitting in her place, tucked under Jughead's arm while she chatters away with Kevin and Veronica. She stares for a moment too long and ends up meeting Archie's eyes. He hesitates, but nods in her direction and she forces a small tight lipped smile, before hurrying off. 

The tears fall quicker than expected and her steps become blurred so much that she walks right into a hard body.

"Woah there, little Cooper. What's got you in a hurry?" Reggie's smooth tone surrounds her and she glances up with mascara stained cheeks and mouth slightly agape, at a loss of an explanation. 

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" His flirty persona shifts to that of a worried one and when she offers no response, he leads her to the locker, carefully sliding her down to the floor. He perches himself beside her and hesitantly wraps an arm around her shoulder. The contact makes her sob harder because it's the most she's felt from anyone in so long. 

She misses her friends. She misses talking to people and writing for the newspaper. She misses it all. 

"I'm just going through a hard time right now. Everything is so blurry and I'm trying to find a way out of this messed up mind of mine. But I'm stuck and alone. And it's all my fault." She whispers the last part as if to scold herself, because it's self destructive behavior but it all comes down to the choices she's been making lately. 

"Y'know Cooper, I think you're a really great girl. You're smart, you're kind and you bring a lot of light to this little town. But it seems to me that you need to confront your demons, 'cause you're really beating yourself up over things that aren't always in your control." It surprises her how easily Reggie finds the right words, but she doesn't know how to formulate any kind of response so instead she rests her head against his shoulder and they stay together for a while until the bell rings and Reggie is rushing off to talk to his coach about something. 

-

Betty finds herself at Cheryl's the day after. She takes Reggie's words to heart and doesn't focus on what she can't control, but confronts the things that she can.

"Betty? What are you doing here?" Cheryl's face is scrunched up in a grimace but she doesn't let that falter her demeanor. 

"Is it okay if I come in?" She asks softly and when Cheryl steps aside, she steps inside the house, every step feeling heavier than the last.

They sit in the living room for what seems to be forever and it's an odd atmosphere because Cheryl doesn't share any snide remarks which makes Betty unsure of how to approach the situation. 

"Did you just come here to sit on my couch or is there something that you have to say, Nancy Drew?" The nickname rolls off her tongue easily and Betty rolls her eyes fondly at how Cheryl's creative mind never seems to rest.

"I'm sorry." 

"Excuse me?" Cheryl doesn't seem to grasp the concept of an apology and it makes Betty sad because its probably because no one has ever expressed sympathy to her before when they caused her pain. 

"I'm sorry for using that video of your father and Jason for my own selfish reasons. There's no excuse for what I did. I threatened you and used it against you to get FP out of jail. It was wrong of me, especially for forcing you to lie under oath. I'm so sorry, Cheryl." It make her feel light and she allows herself to take a breath, while she waits for Cheryl's response. 

"Thank you, Betty. I appreciate you owning up to your mistakes. We're family and we're meant to be here for each other." She nods in agreement and it's silent yet again, but Cheryl breaks it, by pushing herself up off the couch. 

"I'll go make some tea. Stay here." She instructs in true Cheryl fashion before stalking off, heels lacking against the hardwood floor. 

Betty stays at the Blossom home till dark and they talk about everything that's going on. The way Cheryl has been feeling towards a certain friend, the way Betty is spiraling into her darkness, the way their family secrets seems to go on to no end. 

And when she walks her to the front door, Betty feels like she's conquered one of her demons that's been bubbling inside her and she hopes that this newfound bond will last.

"Thank you for having me, Cheryl." 

"Anytime, cousin." She shuts the door and Betty is left standing in the darkness, wondering where to go next, because there's so many loose ends in her life that need tying up. 

-

The ring of the bell is an all too familiar sound when Betty pushes through the door of Pop's. She's met by the ground where Fred lay on in a pool of his blood and the counter where the black hood stood on and the smell of burgers and milkshakes and memories. 

She notices Jughead, Archie, Veronica and Kevin in a booth and it tugs at her heart strings to see them in their natural habitat. They seem to notice her too, because the four heads turn in her direction expectantly and she swallows hard, dragging her feet towards the table.

"Hi." She breathes hesitantly and she doesn't have time to stress because Kevin slides out from beside Jughead, motioning for her to sit. She offers him a smile and sits beside Jughead, leg nudging against his. 

"So Archie and I are sitting in the theatre when the lights go out and obviously we're totally freaking out.." Veronica carries on her story and Betty feels at peace, because she's home again. She knows there's so much more to fix, but for now she just wants to be surrounded by everyone she loves. 

She figures that if she keeps going through hell, it'll eventually lead her back to herself. 

But going through hell doesn't mean you have to be alone too.


	2. Where she flies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She finds that mending things isn't like sowing up tattered parts of an old sweater. And that friendships arise in the unlikeliest of people. And that she loves with every fiber of her soul and breaks just the same. 
> 
> She seems to be finding everything but herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the second part! It's still very Betty centric but there is some bughead slipped in there ;) enjoy everyone!

It happens like this. She wanders down the dark road, heels hanging loosely from her fingers and she's not sure whether her blurred vision is from her tears or her tipsiness or both. 

It's what she does lately. She didn't go back to pastels, strawberry lips, and tight ponytails. Instead she gratefully accepts clothes that are 'so last season' from her red headed cousin and pretends that she's okay at house parties that last till the morning hours and end with her climbing through her window. 

She won't lie and say that it's who she is, because she knows better than to pretend to be something she's not. 

Yet it's all that she's been doing lately. 

When she reaches her house, she stands for a moment, noting the the picture perfect landscape and allowing a bitter chuckle to escape her lips. She knows the truth behind the perfect and it's not as pretty as people make it out to be. 

"Betty?" She jumps at the voice. She half expects to see the black hood, ready to take his revenge but when she spins around, she's met by Archie instead. It's almost a relief. 

"Hi. What're you doing out here so late?" It's hypocritical, but she prefers to do the grilling first to put the judgement on hold. 

"I saw you. Thought maybe you'd wanna talk." He shrugs tiredly and she can make out the dark circles under his eyes even under the dull street lights. 

She wants to say yes, because she doesn't want to tiptoe around Archie but it's all she ever seems to be doing. They don't think she notices, but she sees when Veronica's eyes linger a little too long when Archie squeezes her hand reassuringly or the whispers shared between Kevin and Veronica if Archie offers to walk her to class. 

She knows it wasn't going to be easy. She'd like to think they're all on the track to forming the tight knit bond that was once there. But it only seems possible when she's the old Betty. 

And she's not willing to put them all before herself when it's all she's done her whole life. 

"I'd love to Arch. But I'm really tired." It's not a lie, but it's not the truth and Betty can't seem to find the line between the two anymore. 

"They were there weren't they?" He doesn't have say any names for her to understand. 

"Well of course. They're attached at the hip." Her tone is sarcastic, with a bitter undertone and she doesn't bother censoring herself anymore because what good does it do anyway?

It's quiet for a moment. Archie stuffs his hands in his pockets and she wonders if she's not the only one doing the tiptoeing. 

"They're not together, Betts. It's just..Jug is still unsure about things. Especially when we..." He doesn't have to say it out loud and she doesn't want him to. It only ever makes things uneasy and messy and she's already enough of a mess. 

"I know, Arch. I know." She doesn't bother to stick around for the rest of the conversation and instead turns around to climb up to her window. 

"Betty?" It's desperate and so soft that she barely registers it, but she glances back at him nonetheless because she's tired of skirting around the obvious.

"I hope you had a good time besides that." He says and it's so simple yet it means so much and she nods, tossing him a smile that hides more than it shows. 

She doesn't sleep that night and she'd like to blame it on the alcohol still buzzing in her body, but she knows better. She knows that every time she closes her eyes, she'll be brought back to that night and the silver of the gun will blind her and green will meet green in a way that gives her too many unanswered questions. 

-

Toni seems to be a permanent member of their group now. Besides the fact that she and Jughead follow each other everywhere, she also seems to get along with everyone else. It's not that Betty hates her, but she's sixteen and allowed to be consumed by irrational dislike for a girl constantly hanging around her ex-boyfriend. 

She can't stop herself from glancing every so often at the two across the table, at how Jughead smirks and Toni offers witty remarks and the table laughs and she feels like she's watching a mirage instead of being apart of it. 

"Hey little Cooper." Reggie's voice breaks through her trance and she glances up, offering him a smile. If there's one thing that her breakdown has brought her, it's definitely the unlikely friendship between her and Reggie. 

"Cher and I are going for a drive after school. You in?" His tone is soft and he smiles at her in a way that looks like he's afraid she'll break. She wants to be soft again, but she's sharp edges and broken pieces all pushes together in a messy attempt to fix herself. 

"That'd be great, Reg. Meet you by your car?" Her voice is sickly sweet, dripping with honey and if she didn't know any better, she'd think that this was Betty Cooper from a few months ago. 

Reggie flashes her a charming smile and walks off and she aches for the comfort once he's gone because she's left with strangers that are watching her, judgment pooling in their eyes.

"Betty, I think now is a good time to talk." Kevin says carefully, folding his hands together like a therapist getting ready to read a patient. She hates the way they look at her, like she's some experiment gone wrong. Like the good girl gone bad. 

"We're..concerned, B. You don't wear your sweaters anymore, or your iconic ponytail. You go out to parties on school nights and you wear Cheryl's clothes. You and Cheryl hang out on a regular basis with Reggie like some knockoff gang and it's weird. It's not you. I want things to be normal again. We all do." Veronica's eyebrows are furrowed worriedly and she reaches for her hand, but Betty snatches it away as if she just burnt it on the stove. 

She can feel her eye twitching from anger, but she holds it in, because it's four against one and she doesn't like those odds. 

"Okay, V," The letter rolls of her tongue in mock sweet sarcasm and she straightens her back, fake smile plastered on her burgundy colored lips. "You want things to be normal? Maybe you should stop talking about me with Kevin whenever your boyfriend tries to be a good friend to me. Or maybe you should stop letting my ex-boyfriend and his fuckbuddy sit here when all it does is make me wanna leave. Or maybe you should take a look at Cheryl and Reggie and take some notes on how to be there for someone when they're obviously completely broken." Betty Cooper doesn't use curse words or say exactly what's on her mind but she's not Betty Cooper anymore. 

And she might not ever be again. 

So she stands and slings her bag over her shoulder and walks off. 

-

The wind blows through her hair, kissing every wound she has and lifting her away from the reality of her messed up self. She can feel Cheryl and Reggie's eyes on her, but they don't comment and it's good. It's all good. 

"Are we just gonna ignore the gigantic elephant in the room or is someone gonna have to shoot it for anyone to care?" Cheryl is the first to break the peaceful but tense atmosphere and Betty laughs but it sounds more like a cry for help and she hates the way all her emotions seem to blend into one big ball of sadness and hatred. 

"Just keep driving. Who knows, maybe we'll hit the elephant instead." It's dry and humorless and she slips Reggie's cigarette from his fingers, taking a drag and allowing to burn the only functioning parts of her. 

"You're a cold stone bitch Betty Cooper but I love it." Cheryl smirks, pulling her white sunglasses down from on top her head and sitting back like a mob boss wife in all her classy glory. 

She feels like she's in some kind of sitcom where everyone is watching and laughing but not seeing the bigger picture.

She's not even sure she sees it.

-

It's been three days and she feels like she's doing a pretty good job of avoiding her friends until she steps into the newspaper room. She wants to feel startled by the figure leaning against her desk but not much scares her anymore.

"Can I help you?" She doesn't mean for it to come out rudely, but it does and she doesn't take it back. Jughead watches her for a moment and she takes the time to let her eyes travel down his body from the slightly curl in his raven locks to his tattered combat boots matching his serpent jacket. 

She hates the leather piece of clothing. She hates the way it hugs his muscles and adds an aura of mystery and intimidation. She hates that when side by side with Toni, they look like a badass power couple. She hates that he fits it even more than his signature beanie. Lately she seems to hate everything he's associated with. 

"I just dropped by to see how you were doing. Veronica's really upset y'know. She doesn't completely get what you're going through but..she feels bad for adding to it with the whole Archie thing." She doesn't miss the way his voice breaks when he mentions Archie and normally she would reach out to him but things are different now. 

"Yeah, well then why isn't she here to talk to me?" Betty knows she's being difficult but it's a fair question. She's allowed to question people and their actions just like everyone questions who she is. 

"No offense, Betts, but anytime anyone tries to talk to you or reason with you, you lash out. And it's fine, really. But a lot of it seems like things you've always thought, except now you have the guts to say it." He shrugs like it's no big deal and it creases the jacket and she hopes he creases it enough that the leather wears out much like the world has worn her out. 

"Maybe if everyone stopped expecting me to be the old Betty then I wouldn't lash out. I'm tired. I've tried to mend things with everyone but it feels like the only way I can do that is if I'm the perfect girl next door. Like I'm just someone to balance out the group. Like I can't be dark lipstick and wild hair and short skirts. Why can't I be that? Why can't I be enough?" She wants to add 'for you' at the end of her last question but she snaps her mouth shut like if she opens it too wide, all her darkness will pour it. 

She watches as Jughead looks for the right words to say because he always has the right words. Maybe he's looking for words to save her but she's too far gone. 

"Betts, you have no idea how much I..how much we all love you. If this is who you are then to hell with everyone else. But please don't push us away again when we all need each other." It aches her chest to hear the pleading in his voice but he doesn't get to beg anymore. 

"Funny how you preach about me pushing you all away when you did the exact same thing." It's a low blow but she's tired of letting him tell her what's best for her. 

"I did it to protect you!" His voice breaks when it raises and she can feel cracks between them and her chest burns at the realization that those cracks may never be able to be filled. 

"Well look how that turned out." And it's the last thing she can muster up before she slips into the hallways and runs until her legs give out and she cries. 

She cried until there's nothing left, but it wasn't like there was anything in her anyway. 

-

"Okay, Betty Boop, you need to stop with the doe eyes and just get your man. Once that's settled, Veronica won't feel threatened by you because you're all loved up with that hobo and then all will be rainbows and kitties." Cheryl tells her one day as if it's the most simple solution in the world. She appreciates the suggestion but there's so much more at stake. 

And she's not prepared to lose more than she already has. 

So she rolls her eyes in a fond manner and turns back to her book, while Cheryl watches with an unreadable look before returning her attention to her freshly painted nails.

She enjoys her cousin's company more than she'd like to admit. There are times where she thinks that they share the same underlying darkness and it feels like a connection that no one else can fully understand. 

Like she has a light guiding her through the uncharted territories of her mind and she's slowly learning that they're not all so bad.

"Okay, Cheryl. What's your plan?" She sets her book down abruptly because she knows by now the red head would never back down so easily. She watches as Cheryl claps her hands together and moves to sit with her on the bed like what she's about to share is only meant to be whispered among the two of them.

-

It happens like this. She wanders through the crowd of teenagers, carrying a heavy cup of vodka and an even heavier heart. It doesn't feel like she belongs but it doesn't feel she doesn't. She's okay with the in-between. 

She spots him leaning against the counter, lacking a certain leather jacket and pink haired Serpent. The anchor weighing down her heart lifts a little but her eyes land on Archie and Veronica beside him and she feels it weigh down further. 

"Hey guys." Her voice is cautious and she notes the surprised expressions gracing their faces for a moment only to be replaced by just as cautious smiles.

"Hey B." Veronica is the first to speak and she smiles in a way that tells Betty that they're alright. They're far from where they once were but they're alright. 

"Hey V. I'd really like to talk things out sometime. Maybe at a sleepover? Like old times?" It's the first time that Betty hears hope in her own voice and she's almost scared to let it show. 

"Definitely, B." Veronica nods enthusiastically and hugs her tightly which Betty reciprocates and it warms her all throughout, reaching the parts that had gone cold in the last few weeks.

"Good to see you're feeling better, Betty." Archie smiles, giving her a side hug and there's no lingering looks from Veronica or shared whispers and she feels the hope rising again because she knows they're on the right path. 

"Thanks, Arch. Is it okay if you guys leave Jug and I alone for a moment?" They don't hesitate and leave her alone with him and she almost wants to call them back when she turns back to look at him. 

She takes him in for a moment and it's all so familiar. His grey beanie perched on his dark locks, no serpent jacket in sight, and it's almost like he's hers again. 

Except he's not.

"You look good." His voice is husky and makes her feel hot all over and it's so good. She instinctively moves closer to him and his hands snake their way around her waist, each touch burning a mark on her skin that chants 'his his his his'.' 

"I'm so sorry, Betts. So sorry." And she nods feverishly along with his words as if to say 'me too' but it's not enough so she tilts her head up and her strawberry glossed lips meet his. 

His chapped lips move against hers filled with need and want and it's enough to settle the frantic mess of her mind for one night. But he pulls away too soon and she wants to whine in protest but the seriousness of his features forces her to stay quiet.

"You're more than enough, Betty Cooper. You can change the way you dress, your hair, the way you act and I know it's because you're struggling to find who you are. But it's everything, Betts. You are everything all at once. And I hope that's good enough for you. Because that's the only thing that matters." He's been searching for the right words and Betty knows that there's more to it but in this moment he's holding her in his arms and whispering sweet nothings and all this time it's like she's been falling off a cliff.

But now she's flying.


End file.
